Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Early morning letters

Dear Woodpecker Outside my Window,
I always thought woodpeckers were neat birds - you drill holes in wood to get your food! You have a representative cartoon character! I have now changed my opinion of you. At first I couldn't figure out why it sounded like someone was hammering outside my window early every morning. Turns out you are drilling holes in my roof and wood paneling! I'm not so concerned with the structural damage as I rent, but you are very loud and I like to sleep past six. Please adjust your schedule accordingly.

Dear Kitty,
It is cute when you knead your paws on my lap while we watch tv. It is not cute when you knead my ribs while I am trying to sleep in. Please go down to the kitchen and put your skills to use by making me some biscuits instead.

Dear Hair,
Please stop trying to strangle me in my sleep. That is all.

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